Vows
Vows can be said in several ways. A) Recite your own vows to each other B) Officiant recites vows, couple has a simple response (I do, or I will) C) Officiant recites vows, and the couple repeats the full vows, a line or 2 at a time. D) No vows exchange, or vows exchanged by the couple in private. E) Vows said during the ring exchange.
MA/CT/RI do not require vows, however, the intention (usually, “I do”) is a required part of your wedding.
“I do” vs “I will” Commonly, a couple responds to vows read by the officiant with “I do.” It is a beautiful commitment, based on the present. Some couples will choose “I will” as their response, as it represents the future commitment. I can adjust the wording of any vows to reflect your preference.
Traditional Vows;
“I take you, ___ as my husband/wife. To have and to hold, til death do us part. Loving what I know of you and trusting what I don’t yet know, I give you my whole self, the good, the bad, and the yet to come.”
“I, ___, take you, ___, to be my husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life.”
“I, _____, take you, _____, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish always.”
“I pledge, in honesty and sincerity, to be for you, a faithful and loving wife/husband.”
“I, (NAME), take you, (NAME), to be my husband/wife, my partner in life, and my one true love. I will honor our commitment and love you today, tomorrow, and forever. I will laugh with you and cry with you. Whatever may come I will always be there.”
Officiant: “Do you take (—) to be your (wife/husband), to live together in holy marriage? Do you promise to love (her/him), comfort (her/him), honor, and keep (her/him) in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to (her/him) as long as you both shall live?”
Bride/Groom: “I do.”
Most often in a Muslim wedding, there will be no vows. If vows are exchanged, it traditionally looks like this,
Bride: “I, ___, offer you myself in marriage in accordance with the instructions of the Holy Quran and the Holy Prophet, peace and blessing be upon him. I pledge, in honesty and with sincerity, to be for you an obedient and faithful wife.”
Groom: “I pledge, in honesty and sincerity, to be for you a faithful and helpful husband.”
Officiant: “Will you, have _____ to be your (wife/husband)? Will you love (her/him), comfort and keep (her/him), and forsaking all others remain true to (her/him), as long as you both shall live?”
Bride/Groom response: “I will.”
Modern Vows;
“I take you, ___ to be my wife/husband/partner, and promise to always treasure the gift of our love.”
“I promise to love you in the mundane, through the extraordinary and especially when it doesn’t come easy. I will encourage you, respect you and love you all the days of my life.”
“Marriage bridges two shores, binding us together as one unbroken path, on which I vow never to deviate, never to falter, and to always be by your side.”
“As long as the sun shines in the day and the moon and stars shine at night, our love will survive.”
“I take you be my wife/husband/partner every day, and my soulmate forever.”
“I vow patience, honesty and unending love as long as we both shall live.”
“I take you now as my husband/wife/partner, and I promise to always be true.”
“___ I offer you my heart, my loyalty, and my love. Today, tomorrow, and forever.
“I promise to overlook your flaws and imperfections, and ask that you overlook mine, because our love always cherishes the good in each other and allows room to grow together.”
“I vow to trust and value your opinions, and stand by your actions.
I pledge to always treat you as my best friend and equal.
I will ask for help when I need it, and offer help to you always.
Let us be friends and lovers, and grow old disgracefully together.”
“I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and patience. To speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they’re not, to live within the warmth of your heart – and always call it home.”
“I promise to hold off secretly watching episodes of *whatever TV show we are watching together, until we are actually together.”
Perhaps you'd like to write and recite your own vows. Need a little help?
Are you comfortable speaking in front of people? If so, read your vows aloud. If not, you can still write your vows and have the officiant read them for you in the form of a question to you to which you’ll answer “I do” or “I will.” Your partner should use the same format for the sake of continuity. If you choose to write and recite your own vows, here’s some advice;
- Pay attention to length and the style of your vows. If you are writing an “I do” form of vow, you’ll be limited to writing out a short set of questions to be asked to you by the officiant.
- Include 2 or 3 things that you love about your significant other.
- Share how they inspire you to be a better person.
- Incorporate your beliefs and inspirations into your vows.
- Make promises for your life together. Include that you will be there for them through life’s inevitable ups and downs.
- Make 2 copies, and give one to your officiant or best man/MOH, parent or another trusted person.
- Practice reading your vows aloud, slowly & clearly.
- Keep your vows a secret. This is not necessary, but just like the “first look” it can be very touching to hear your partners vows for the first time during your ceremony.
I, ___, take you, ___…
I, ___, choose you, ___…
From the moment we met…
When I think of our life together…
Walk life’s path together
These things I promise you: I will be faithful / honest / respect / trust / help and care for you / share my life with you / to be there when you need me / to nurture our family / build a loving home
This is my solemn vow
For all the days of my life
I love you